Never Forget Your True Value.

     My last blog was very personal in nature. I shared with you all some of the deeper aspects a personal battle in my life concerning my heath. I thank all of you for your feedback and love in response to what I wrote. Many of you expressed to me the difficulty in reading what I wrote as the thought of losing me to such tragedy was very disturbing. That I understand and appreciate your words of love and encouragement.

     Now, why did I write it. This is an experience that I've had over two years ago that I was very reluctant to share. But after a certain number of things that I experienced, including the question of one of my FB friends on what they should do about the thoughts they were having of suicide, it was confirmed for me that I needed to share this aspect of my own life in hopes that it would in some way serve as an encouragement for others who are now in that place that I was in.

"Never forget your value to this mission"

     These were the words that I received from a very close friend and brother in response to my previous blog. EXACTLY!  He had effectively summed up what it took me several paragraphs to write.

     Many of us have forgotten our value and some of us never even knew we had any real value at all. For example, when your value as a woman has been reduced to how good your "head game" is (and I am not talking about intellect) or when your value as a man reduced to your ability to "make it rain." or the car we drive, where we work, or how cute or handsome we are then our true value has been lost on the superficial.

One definition of the word value is:
 -relative worth, utility, or importance

     Human value should not, and truthfully cannot, be defined in the way that we look at a ring or a car or any other material thing nor should our value be determined in comparison to one another. The sun is not like the moon but does that make the moon any less valuable? When it is the pull of the moon that balances the waters keeping them from flooding the earth and drowning us all? But we don't speak of the moon like we do the sun. You never ask is it "moony" outside (smile), no we want to know is it sunny. Human beings are like this, each one of us having a different purpose that we are born in the world to do all of them equally as important to the other. Now just how important are we?

The Vicegerent (an administrative deputy) of The Creator

     What does it mean to be the vicegerent of the creator? (I am purposely using the term Creator here to give the reader more of an idea of their proper place in the reality of things when we consider who and what we really are.) The origin of the word vicegerent, means "to carry on". We human beings are to carry on the work of The Creator.

     Every human being has free will to do whatever they want, this is both a blessing and a curse. Just about everything in nature does what it was born in the world to do. If we make a study of the ants they are basically all the same particularly those of the same species, ants do ant stuff. We have never seen one ant standing to the side sleeping while the others work. And if we look at nature this goes on every where we look. Except with human beings yet we (you) are the greatest and most intelligent of all creation with the ability to bring our very thoughts and ideas into reality. We have been made co-creators with God. The problem is we are using our abilities for all the wrong reasons and bringing into the world from our minds all the wrong things for the most part.

What is my purpose?

Answer these two questions:

1) What do you do best? 
2) And what do you like to do? 

     The Honorable Elijah Muhammad taught us that in the answer to these two questions we will find the
purpose of our lives. Now if our answer to the above question is "twerkin" or "getting turnt up" then we have to seriously reconsider how we are living.

     In the moment that I lost sight of the value of my life to others is when selfishness set in and the thought of ending my own life out of hopelessness and fear began to take root. But some of us have committed suicide without killing ourselves physically.

How?

Life is life defined as:
1) the ability to grow, change, etc., that separates plants and animals from things like water or rocks
   a )the period of time when a person is alive
   b) the experience of being alive

     Have you ever asked someone the question "how are you?" and they respond "I am breathing"? Whenever I hear this I say to them "That's it?!" What kind of life is that when it is only defined by the ability to breath or eat. That is no life for us. Why have we allowed the struggle or circumstances, or even the failures in our life to define us. What happened to us is not "us" unless we allow it to be. Every waking moment of our existence should be spent looking for and acting on our purpose for being. We should be finding ways to live our dreams and make our lives more meaningful. Finding ways to fulfill our purpose and function. Hopelessness and fear are lies we tell ourselves. Yes you are BREATHING! So now live life to its fullest and challenge your fears. The whole world is waiting on your star to appear and maybe it will be a guide for other travelers who are lost in the night. So push on through your struggles and live your dreams.

Peace Truly;
Your Brother
Tremikus

What does it mean to give up on life?

    I remember about two years ago sitting in my bed very ill not knowing if I would live or die. My health had been on a steady decline nothing like I had ever experienced before and I did not share much of what I was experiencing with my wife. The only effective treatment that I had found to help me with my condition which I thought was connected to a heart murmur, was much more than I could afford and many times it was a choice between bills and medicine. With me being a husband and father of course I would choose the bills.

    My choices were hard and I had to think on how I would prepare my family for the inevitable, as I thought at that time.  I understood that my passing would present a great trial for my family in many ways, especially financially. And having just a short time before, witnessed a very close friend and mentor pass away, I knew first hand how much of a struggle my family would suffer monetarily. I decided to take out two life insurance policies on myself, unbeknownst to my wife and the first would cover death by natural causes and the other would cover accidental death both were pretty sizable, but the policy covering natural death was denied because of my preexisting condition leaving me only with the accidental death policy.

    So there I was sitting in bed alone in my thoughts trying to figure out what direction I would go then it dawned on me. We had just moved to a new home and out back was a swimming pool, some nights  I would go out and sit in the pool and just look up at the stars and think. But what if I had an accident, I knew that I did not have the strength to swim so if I happened to swim out to the deep end then tire out and drown then my family would be secured after all I was going to die anyways. So there I had it, my ultimate plan my family would be secure. So one night when everyone was asleep, I put on my trunks, walked out to the pool got in and sat there on the steps for a minute to have what was to be my final conversation with God. We talked about my sons and my wife, my friends and family, all those that would be left behind but I had made my decision. Then he showed me my body faced down in that water floating and my poor family finding me like that and I thought what if my wife out of her love and pain decides to jump in and get me, she cant swim so maybe she would drown and with that thought I knew this was a bad idea. So I just stayed there, eventually I got up went back into the house took a shower and get back in bed. The next morning when I awoke life at our home was still the same. My children were still playing and laughing, my wife was cooking breakfast and I was still sick.

    Sometimes life gives us hard choices and there are things, we will suffer through that don't seem fair and maybe it's not. But we have to endure. A few months after that night my wife gathered my sons and came up with the idea of a online fundraiser that helped to raise money for my holistic treatment and the friends and family that I was willing to leave behind gave what they had to help and then about a year later I was blessed with a patron who paid all of the cost of my treatment. Now everyday I am getting stronger and stronger and returning to my life's work of helping others and inspiring others.

    Never give up on life. Keep your faith, no matter what is in front of you whether it is the everyday struggle of life or even death itself. The purpose for which all of us were born into this world is far beyond what we have imagined. We cannot fathom the depth of God and all that has gone into the production of you. Your beginning is in the mind of God and all the forces of this universe that we live in throughout time as culminated into your birth and all these trials and struggles that we suffer I designed to bring out of us the best of what is hidden in us. As we mentioned in earlier blogs all birth is accompanied with pain but the new life that is borne out of you makes you forget the pain, then we heal and life starts over again.

   
   My life is starting over again it would have been shameful to end it that night. In the end I decided to push on through my struggles and if you decide to do the same you will be rewarded. It's not easy, but truthfully the consequences of quitting and giving in aren't easier so you might as well accept the challenge of life and fight for your victory.

PUSH ON THROUGH THE STRUGGLE
Brother Tremikus.